How to Be Supportive To Your Partner (part 1)

Listening Actively to Your Partner

  1. Recognize when something is bothering them. You need to pay attention not only to their words but also to their attitude and body language. Be aware when something seems to be bothering them. Try to avoid taking it personally when they are in a bad mood; chances are, it has nothing to do with you. Therefore, you should avoid making the situation worse by being rude or angry in return. 
  2. Give them the opportunity to express their feelings. Some people simply do not like to show vulnerability, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, this also means that they might not be immediately forthcoming about what the issue is. Gently inquire about what is bothering them. You might say, “I can tell that you’ve got a lot on your mind. Would you like to talk about it?” Another example of what you could say is, “You seem down today. How can I help?”If your partner does not want to talk about the issue right away, then respect that decision. They will come to you about it when they are ready.
  3. Listen carefully while they talk. When they are ready to share with you, take the time to listen carefully to what they are saying. Validate their feelings and give cues that you are actively listening:
    • Avoid interrupting. Talk when they give you the opportunity or when they ask you a question.
    • Repeat back what they said in brief summaries when given the opportunity: “I heard you say that…” or “I understand that you felt…”
    • Maintain eye contact while they talk.
    • Show concern in your facial expression.
    • Ask questions about what they shared.
  4. View the situation from your partner’s perspective. You are obviously unique individuals, no matter how much you may have in common. When you help them through issues, it will be helpful to try to view the issue from their perspective.
    • Pinpoint what about the issue upsets them if they do not or cannot identify it.
    • Understand why this problem upsets them.
    • Figure out how they might solve this problem based on their personality.
    • Be supportive and gently guide them along the right path if you realize that they are actually in the wrong in the situation.
  5. Offer realistic solutions. Once they have shared the issue and gotten it off of their chest, think of realistic solutions to offer that will help the situation. Try asking “Are you looking for suggestions, or do you just want to vent?” if you aren’t sure whether your partner is open to advise.
    • Suggest solutions that will not further aggravate the situation. For example, if they are upset about an argument they had with a coworker, do not suggest something like playing a prank on the coworker to get revenge.
    • Offer to help however you can. They may or may not want your help, and it is important that you respect that. They are independent and capable of doing things on their own.
    • Simply offer to be there for them as a listening ear and shoulder to cry on, if there is not much that you can do to help with a solution.
  6. Apologize if necessary. It might turn out that your partner is upset about something that you did or said. When they have shared this with you, it would be helpful to apologize.
    • Every situation is different. It may be the case that you stand by what you said or did and do not feel the need to apologize, and they deserve an explanation of why. However, if you had no idea that what you said or did upset them that much and genuinely feel bad about that, apologizing is necessary.
    • You can also apologize even if the situation has nothing to do with you: “I’m sorry that this happened to you. I’ll be by your side to support you however I can.”


Thank you for reading, make sure to comment to earn part 2 would be coming soon

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April 9, 2021 7:29 AM


April 4, 2021 3:05 PM

Good post

April 4, 2021 2:29 PM

nice update

April 4, 2021 2:06 PM

Thanks for the updates

April 4, 2021 2:01 PM

Nice updates